Port Placement Friday and Chemo Starts Monday

Port placement surgery scheduled for Friday.

Be there at 6am.

They tell us.

In the My Charts app again.

It's crazy how devastating a cancer diagnosis is for so many. And how dehumanized the entire process is. It'll cease to be shocked. And that's ok. I'm not sure what I'm expecting. At least in the movies it seems like a caring doctors delivers the news and updates. I guess that's why it's called a movie.

Chemo is scheduled to start Monday, October 6th.

Chemo.

Dang. It's real.

Speaking of movies, it all still feels like a movie. It doesn't feel real. Each conversation about cancer and chemo and surgery and chances of survival happen in slow motion, out of body, like lines in a script of movie, doesn't feel real.

Logically, we process and plan and fight with insurance and fight with the wait times of the medical system, and emotions stay at bay.

Until they don't.

And the damn breaks and it's hard. It's really and truly hard at time.

Hard to keep it together. Hard to not be sad. Hard to not feel the weight of it all.

And as the surgeon said to me.

She's the one that has to go through this, not me, and not you.

And he's right.

And we are so fortunate and loved and set up for success.

And it'll be hard on her. On us. And we will make it. And we will see the Lord in it. And he will reveal Himself. And we will change. And our kids will change.

And it'll be good.

For He is good.

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Back to chemo on Monday, it'll be a long day of an IV drip. The first day takes the longest so they can check for any reactions. Probably seven or eight hours.

Plus, Erin is trying a cold capp treatment to try and lose less hair. It's and additional 90 minute treatment added to each treatment day.

They said to expect the negative effects of chemo to hit day three, four, and five post treatment.

We pray for mild or no side effects.

We pray for mild or no hair loss.

We pray chemo eliminates the tumor before surgery.

We pray for it all to be over.

And we pray for it to change us to more like Him.

Love, the Murrays